Cheesy lead. Don’t be cute. Skip the rhetorical
questions. The “What if you were stuck on a sailboat in a hurricane with
a mysterious killer” teasers get old fast. Better to lead with the
facts; otherwise your reader may feel as if you’re trying to manipulate
him or her to create more sensation than pure fact warrants.
Addressing the Editor. Do Not
begin the query with “Hey...” It is disrespectful and may stop an
editor on the spot! It reeks of unprofessionalism and childishness.
Bobbled blurbs.
The biggest problems we see with blurbs are 1) too many characters and
secondary characters when only the main character should be the
emotional hook, 2) a description that’s more thematic than plot-driven
(i.e., this book is about peace and love), 3) the author attempts to
tell the whole story, including the ending, when he or she should use
the blurb as a teaser instead.
Appearance. The
letter looks bad, smells, is printed on cheap paper or photocopied, etc.
We also receive e-queries that are poorly formatted (all caps, colored
and silly fonts, goofy pictures in the signature line) or that lose
their formatting once they are sent. TIP: Do yourself a favor and test
your e-query to make sure it keeps its formatting by sending it to a
bunch of your family members and friends to see what it looks like in
their inboxes. Then you can send it to agents.
Mentioning prior manuscripts (and/or certain self-published books).
If you’ve written three unpublished book manuscripts in the past, best
not to mention them. Otherwise the agent in question may be intimidated
by your prior projects, thinking, “If I take on his/her current project,
the writer will probably pester me to represent all those previous
books that, for whatever reason, didn’t sell.” The same goes for
self-published manuscripts, which agents will look at the same way as
unpublished manuscripts UNLESS you have significant accolades for your
self-published book.
The multiple personality bio.
Often writers will inadvertently begin their bios in first person, but
wind up in third. Be on the lookout for pronouns gone wild! Also, some
bios will begin in present tense, but then end in past. And, as always,
it helps to have a strong, well-written bio.
Groveling.
It may seem like it makes sense to acknowledge your own humility by
pointing out a lack of experience, but resist this urge. Confidence wins
hearts.
TMI. While it’s always good to convey
your own unique personality in your bio, be careful not to include too
much information. If your novel is about sailors, it may help to include
your background in the Coast Guard. Be personable and interesting, but
do so with care.
Listing publishing credits that aren’t really publishing credits.
Be careful that the publishing credentials you’re listing are not part
of poetry contest scams or anthology scams. Including bad credits
suggests you don’t know the market (and therefore don’t know good
writing). Self-published titles can also be a turn-off to editors.
Copyright. Industry standard is to not include the copyright symbol on your work.
Cover art.
If you include cover art, you show a) that you don’t know how the
industry works (since writers get almost no say over their covers), and
b) that you might just be the kind of high-maintenance writer who wants
complete control.
If you flatter, mean it. Agents
can often see straight through the “I greatly admire your agency” bit;
they know a generic form letter compliment when they see one. If you’re
going to take the approach of flattery, be specific in your praise.
Some common phrases that authors should not use in query letters:
This is the first book I’ve ever written! If this is true, you don’t
need to say it; better to position yourself as a person who knows the
biz (which means you must be a person who knows it!).
I’ve been writing since I was five.
Writers who feel compelled to explain that “I’ve been writing since I
was X years old” or that “It is my greatest wish to get published”
inadvertently declare to editors, “I am a newbie.” It’s presumed that
you’ve been writing since you were X years old and now want to get a
book published. That’s what every writer wants.
This would make a great movie.
Almost everyone thinks his or her book could be a great movie. You want
your query letter to ask your agent to do one thing and one thing only:
represent and sell your BOOK—not a screenplay, not a series of action
figures, not your foreign rights. Let the publisher in question decide
if your book is screen worthy or not.
This book will appeal to readers of all genres.
Editors want to work with writers who understand that each genre
appeals to a very specific demographic. When you say, “This appeals to
everyone,” an agent will read, “This appeals to no one in particular.”
My friends/parents/teachers like my writing.
We often read how new writers get a favorable response to their writing
from close ones. But unless your mom or dad is a renowned literary
critic, leave off any amateur praise.
Oprah will love this book.
If the story is solid and the writing is strong, there’s no reason an
author should feel obligated to proclaim that a book is the next Harry
Potter. Don’t promise what you have no control over. Your work should
speak for itself.
